TRACE
Last time we spoke to TRACE it was for our 14th issue back in summer 2016. Since then, she’s released two EPs (2016’s Low and 2019’s Like Hell) and a quite a number of singles. She says that her third EP (coming late Summer/early Fall 2021) feels the most “MOI” in a long time. Until then, we dive into the creation / recording process behind her powerful and meditative new single/video “Sucker Punch.”
Written by herself and produced by songwriter & multi-instrumentalist Luna Shadows, Trace says “Sucker Punch” is about the “great let down after your hopes get too high” – it’s an ode to owning one’s sensitivity (especially as a woman) and it’s the first single to be produced “intentionally” by a woman who is also a “dear friend.” She says the track is about getting hurt by “people, the industry, and even as dramatic as it sounds, the world” because sometimes it’s “hard to be understood and empathy falls short.” Adding, “This song is a reminder of being hurt and knowing it’s not the end. And though stings are unavoidable, I’m thankfully a different person because of it all. Yes, I am so freaking sensitive, but I know I will always be better in the long run. And that it’s a strength I wield.”
Trace’s web/socials: Website – Soundcloud – Instagram – Facebook – Twitter
So, things are pretty unsettling in the world right now due to the pandemic, civil rights issues, government upheaval, climate change, the list goes on… As a musician / creative, how has this last year been? How are you feeling? How have you been coping with everything?
I can’t believe we have a year under our belt of what has felt like the most gnarly thing that could happen. It felt like a domino effect of one horrible thing after another. Looking back, I’m so grateful, for the most part, of getting here unscathed in ways I know some can’t say. As an artist, already my emotions exist very openly and freely, and I personally sit in my feelings easily and often. But with my outer world changing, my inner world, like many others were tested. I think as an artist I was really grateful to be able to continue to create from a place that felt both terrified and also human. So, when I say to people that this last year was an odd blessing, I mean that it revealed a lot about our world, the people in it and it revealed a lot in me. So presently, I feel weirdly excited about the future and healing that has been happening on many levels whether it’s with myself and my identity as an Asian American Woman or healing around the basic yet important question “What really matters?” I’m coping by grasping on to the present. Taking deeper breaths. Refining my social circles. So overall, I’m feeling renewed–refined.
I feel like the music industry has shifted even more so during the pandemic. How has it felt as an artist? Is it scary trying to question how to approach music making and then how to or if you want to creatively release it to the public?
My last show was my EP release at the end of 2019. And I had no immediate music plans after that. I was set out to make 2020 a year of just writing (outside of music, I’m working on a screenplay and other things!). When the pandemic hit, personally I was relieved I didn’t have a tour or even a label because I could do whatever. But the industry has changed, as it often does, so I think for me, it’s scary in general to share yourself. Now that I’m back to being an independent artist, the pressure feels way lighter and that lightness or hope has turned into a confidence that allows my creativity to pour out versus, strive? Maybe. Releasing music is a tiny bit anxiety-ridden for me to be honest. It’s strange to start as a newcomer indie artist who got to be on a lot of playlists and hitting millions of streams to then signing to a label and feel your career not really grow the way you thought and then now being back to being indie, the numbers just keep dropping. I say this as someone who is actually really grateful for what I’ve been able to experience. But the industry and streaming also has changed. How does one not take things too personal? “Why am I not on playlists?” Does that mean I’m not that good anymore? It’s scary to adopt and adapt to that thought. So, as I release music today, my expectations have become more simmered. And the actual only main thing I really care about is if the song means anything at all to me. Now do I want to release a short film with every single song I make? YES. I love creating visualizers and vibes. Do I want to be on all the playlists? Of course. But I’m learning to calm down. To not compare–to others or the past! I think to creatively release something to the public is important but perhaps to me there days it isn’t as important than authentically releasing something.
Since the last time we spoke to you, in the summer of 2016, you’ve released two EPs (2016’s Low and 2019’s Like Hell) and a quite a number of singles. With that schedule of releases, it seems like you’re constantly writing, I’m curious about what your writing process is like. How often do you finish the lyrics and / or music of a new track before you start on another one? What have you found to be the key to finding inspiration when writing lyrics / coming up with music? Is your writing process something that’s shifted for you over time?
Writing is always hard and sometimes easy. I try my best to be present and in my body. I usually have lines that I think of and keep notes on them. I also record voice notes when an emotion or feeling comes up. I really try to organize my thoughts. So when I sit down I’m either writing a song on the guitar by myself and maybe I start it and send it off to a producer. Then I go in the studio and we build a track around it, and I finish the writing. Sometimes I write a whole song with two notes on a piano (I’m a horrible musician!) and bring it to whoever I know can make it a fully developed song. I can write pretty fast and I think that I used to feel like a writing machine when it came to writing for other artists or even during countless studio sessions with different people through the label. I learned a lot! It was a season of writing a lot. As I get to come back to focus on my own work, with no timeline, the writing process feels more patient. Finding inspiration requires a sense of energy. If I have energy, I have strength to look around, to dive into my relationships, to tackle my trauma. To find inspiration, I need energy and to get energy, I need rest. I think peace is a big thing for me these days. It’s a stillness I’m finding allows me to feel and write the things I never knew I had in me.
Let’s talk about your brand new single “Sucker Punch.” What was your songwriting/creative process like for this track? Was there an event or a specific timeframe where a large chunk of the lyricism / music came out? Where were you at physically, mentally when you wrote it? How long was this track in the making?
I wrote “Sucker Punch” a couple years ago. I think the beauty of music is that it can evolve into meaning different things and that’s so fun to be a part of. But when I wrote it, I wrote it from a place of feeling very let down. I think my ego was bruised, I think I realized I put too much faith or value on people/entities. It was during this time my good friend Luna Shadows and I were wanting to work on something together. It’s funny to work with a friend for the first time because you never know! But we had so much fun just hanging and creating and unfortunately, I haven’t worked with many women producers and she is such a talented one (and artist!) so I was just so thrilled we finally got together. She created safe space for me to sulk and complain and was very keen on every sound on the track and that I’d be in love with each snare, synth, etc. It was also a big learning experience for me in terms of production and she kind of slowly equipped me with knowledge I didn’t have prior. We wrote the song in one sitting. The sound of it has been through a lot but I’d say the track technically was a two-year thing in the making but we took like a year and a half off. Music is funny. BUT I’m glad we got it to where it is, and I love it a lot.
You say “Sucker Punch” is about “about the great let down after your hopes get too high. Getting hurt by people, the industry, and even as dramatic as it sounds, the world because sometimes it’s hard to be understood and empathy falls short. Especially as a woman.” When you’re going through situations like this, how have you tried to recalibrate to get in the correct mindset? What have you found to be the biggest misunderstanding of what people think of you?
I love this question and not sure how to answer it. Hmm. I think stepping outside of myself is a good recalibrator in reminding me who I really am, ironically. I think also the relationships I DO have are ones that steer me and help point me back to the goodness I seek. The greatness even. Not like as in being the greatest but being a woman who is a woman who cares about the right things, and who actually loves her neighbor. I think it’s ok to be hurt, but it’s not ok to think you’re a person that deserves or that stays in it. If that makes sense? As I’ve moved out of this bruisey feeling, my ego has had a real check. In terms of misunderstandings, I honestly am not too sure. But maybe that I’m dramatic. But I’m quite sensible. Or is it the other way around??
You also say that being sensitive is a strength you wield. What are some things you really, really care about right now in 2021?
Oh my gosh, so much. How I am using my platform for my fellow AAPI community. My spiritual and emotional maturity and is it growing and strong? My mental health, aka mind body and soul wholeness. Therapy. Loving people well. Continuing a relationship with my dad even though I most of the time don’t want to. My next EP project and what I say in it. My friends on their bad days. And a project that I’m terrified of stepping into that I can’t say much about yet!
I’m blown away by the video for “Sucker Punch”! How did it come about? What was the treatment for this video? How long was this video in the making? Any fun behind the scenes facts from the making of it?
Thank you! My good friend from college Bryan Bangerter who is one of the most talented musicians I know also does film and he had his hand on a nice camera for an extra day or two from a commercial shoot so he truly was like “Hey is there anything you need shot?” As to where I said “Please and thank you.” It was pretty simple in that our vision was just me living life. Being around the house, hanging in a tub, walking on the street at night. The ease of it paired with the heaviness of the song felt like a good partnership. My only behind the scenes facts that I probably will regret sharing is that there’s a scene where all you can see is the Taco Bell sign. So a fact is: I hate that it’s there haha.
You’re planning to release your third EP this summer / fall. Can you tell us a little bit about it?
I am! I think for a while I had no idea if I should wait to get signed again or get more clout–WHATEVER THAT MEANS. I also think financially it does cost and I was a little nervous. And also, relating to your other question about creatively releasing things. There’s pressure there sometimes. But something recently flipped in me that got me excited and was less precious with like “I need to have all the creative assets for everything” etc. I think I just felt like I recently realized the stuff I’ve been working on in the last year are songs that feel like the MOST me in a long time. The ol’ authenticity. Which is weird to say sometimes–I love all my songs. And there are parts of me in all of them. BUT this project feels sonically in a direction that I feel very close to and obsessed with. And to be honest…I think maybe I sound better??? I’m just being honest. I feel like I can say, since 2016, though it might not look it when it comes to data and accolades, I am getting better. And I’m really proud of that.
